Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Saying it differently

I enjoy reading the works of writers who say things differently.

It is so easy to slide into clichés, to over use words and especially phrases and expressions which are so old and familiar that their corpses are not only rotten; they smell worse than a skunk sprayed dog before it’s been washed.

It is a rare event when a politician, public figure or some other prominent citizen comes up with something arrestingly original. I laughed out loud earlier this week when I heard someone say, in reference to our federal government, the following words:

“They promised us the world, but they just showed us a picture of an atlas.”

How wonderful.

More power to the people out there not content to squirm in the mud of mediocrity, but make an effort to create new ways of making their point.

Good writing.

Deleted scene from “Hamlet”

I have it on good authority that Shakespearian experts have discovered a previously unknown snippet deleted from William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet.

Apparently the bard originally had Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, sitting at a table with a blank sheet of drawing paper and a range of drawing pencils in front of him.

Hamlet, looking at the pencils, scratches his head and says: “2B or not 2B, that is the question.”

What’s in a name?

Sometimes I come across the name of a person that is strangely appropriate to their occupation. In today’s local paper I was amused to read a letter to the editor from a Dr. Pain. I’m not sure I would like to consult him, especially if he turned out to be a dentist.

Some years ago in another life when I was teaching in a large country town in South Australia three of the local schools had cleaners with most appropriate surnames: a Mrs. Grimes, a Mrs. Brushnahan and a Mrs. McLean. At the same time the person overseeing the driver education programme in secondary schools of this state was a Mr. Driver.

Many years ago my wife needed an urgent tetanus injection, something that caused a little consternation on her part until she saw the nurse’s name tag: Nurse Panic. Her laughter eased the pain. A friend of mine also tells about a relative with delight: an instance of a Bishop marrying a Priest.

Short Fiction #37 The Birthday Gift

The Birthday Gift

The small group of family and friends gathered around the table. The glow of the candles lit my face. One puff and they were out, to the cheers of everyone in the room. The flash of my daughter’s camera momentarily blinded me.

“Happy Birthday!” they all shouted and they launched into a shaky rendition of the traditional song.

“C’mon, time to open your gifts.”

I took the first present. I knew it was from my wife. It had sat taunting me for days on one end of the coffee table. I ripped open the beautiful wrapping paper. I think my next expression said it all. It was not the birthday present I was expecting.

I had been giving solid hints for weeks about the latest best-selling novel I wanted to read. The wrapped up parcel looked exactly right. Surely she had heard my heavy hinting?

My gaping mouth said it all. This was most unexpected, and a little embarrassing. As I showed the title to all in the room, I heard a few gasps.

“An Illustrated Guide to Pig Farming,” boasted the cover.

Totally bemused I flipped through a few pages. My puzzled look intensified. There seemed something wrong; no illustrations. I thumbed back to the title page. Now I understood. She had tricked me.

“Thank you darling,” I said as I kissed her cheek. She’d bought me the novel after all. “Nice trick to put on a false cover.”

All rights reserved.

Copyright 2007 Trevor W. Hampel.

Writing About Big Questions of Life

There are only a few questions that are common to all people.

They are The Big Questions of Life.

Many philosophers down through the millenia have attempted to bring answers to these burning questions. Probably the most inspiring attempt was contained in the trilogy of five books written by Douglas Adams in his Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where he cleverly tries to answer the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

But now…

we have the Answers to the Big Questions in Life (click here).

Sim’ on his blog The Rhyme of Sim’ has written some learned answers to life’s perennial questions.

Disclosure:

  • I must point out that Sim’ is related to me; he is, in fact, my son.